Published November 10, 2009
Search for the mysteries
Inside all of us
Search for the feelings
That make us create
That make our souls strong
Seek out the stars
Journey down that broken path
Breathe
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Canary word: Present
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141,471 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
I didn't really enjoy this poem. It was far to short, not that I don't like short poems but this to me was far to short. I am guessing you were trying to provoke some thought but by the time your point registered in my mind, bam! It was over so next time just lengthen it. Just a little though!
I am a fan of this poem alot, I think it is thought-provoking and meaningful, I only wish it were a tad bit longer, but some of the best poems are short. Good job!
Hi Dradian!
I really like this a lot!
I absolutley love how you made it clear yet still have a lovely ring to it!
My only problem with it is the nitpicky stuff - punctuation.
It would especially benefit you in separating different ideas, for example the last word "Breathe" would be more resounding if you put a period after it to show finality.
All in all, brilliant.
:Rachel